Someone praise me for my brilliantly cleaver titles! No? Really? Rude.
Moving away for your disdain for genius, let’s talk about something that is really smart: managing your money properly. I am normally tighter than the thriftiest Scot with my money, and at any time I can tell you how much I have in my wallet and bank account, but that is just my personality, and I am very consciences with my finances and where money goes (*cough* the bar *cough*).
However, I didn’t actually follow a budget that I had set in stone, so with this month being National Savings Month, I decided to gooi some numbers into one of those fancy Excel docs. You know, like a pretend adult would do.
HOLY CRAP ADULTING IS DIFFICULT. There are some expenses that you just don’t really pay much attention to, but they really start to add up once they are down on paper <- specifically toilet paper! A really good bit of advice that I got from Ben, (the man, the legend), was to plan out a budget for Jan to Dec and plan each month out. There are always those sneaky fuckers that come around once a year that normally accost your wallet and stab it before it even has a chance to defend itself – such as car services, trips to the dentist, doc etc. Here are my 5 tips to helping you budget
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- Set aside retirement savings first – no R100pm isn’t going to cut it, but it’s better than nothing.
- Set aside savings every month for a rainy day/unexpected expense.
- Plan your budget for a year at a time, rather than a month at a time – don’t forget the once off expenses and filter those bad boys in!
Nothing in life ever comes easily. I get that. Well, except for a teenage boy, sure. That is besides the point anyway. Stop giggling.
Seriously though – things that are difficult are normally worth the effort. Like that mooi stikkie you have been trying to hook up with for the last two years but she won’t give you the time of day. We see you being a try-hard. Stop it.
Anyway, I digress. It’s not my fault that I have an attention span inversely proportional to Kim K’s ass.
Seriously stop making this women famous. Jesus.
The important point that I am trying to make, is that this blogging daily thing is difficult, hence me calling it a challenge. Now, I don’t just expect blog posts to fall out of the sky, but there is enough perplexingly random shit running through my head on a daily basis, that even if I fill a post with the drivel that is the following bout of words, then I should be able to finish this challenge. This will definitely get easier as I get further into the challenge, kind of like a tub of ice cream as your shame gets weighed further and further down as more and more ice cream enters your stomach, while you sit on the couch in your fat pants with your ass starting to form a crater in the couch because you haven’t even shifted positions, never mind moved, in the last 6 hours.
Just to clarify, the title isn’t meant to make any sense – much like most of my content. Just roll with it.
Tinder. Where the bloody hell do we begin with this mess of an app?
I haven’t the foggiest idea, but I have had a shit ton of fun playing on the app this week. In the space of the last week, I have seen a few sides to the app that I didn’t, but should have expected.
There are 3 types of girls on Tinder:
- The Crazy
- The Hoe
- The Prude
Now, we aren’t talking about looks or anything, but simply the first impression that a girl can give off – the initial impression of her personality. Some of them are cringe worthy, some are funny, but the majority of them just leave me dik confused. WHAT THE HELL GIRL!?
This is plain and simple. The first thought that she gives off is the fact that she wants the D. Any D. Excuse the blunt objectification, but damn girl calm down. Put them things away (but silently thumbs up). Most of these profiles are fakes/jokes that they are doing for a bit of fun, but remember, anything that goes on the internet, more than likely stays on the internet. I feel like there isn’t anything else to add to this, but just cover yo’self up. We know your milkshake brings all the internet boys to the yard, but you are practically shooting your first porno with some of those pics.
The next topic veers right off track in comparison – just like the mal people who put these pics up. Sure some of these are a joke, but WTF people!? I get there are some, ummmm, “alternative” people out there, but there is only so much crazy that a man can handle, even if he is more cooked than your Christmas duck that you left in the oven because you got too drunk after another domestic argument about how Johnie leaves his shit everywhere. Read More
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Jissus! Kykie how are you people doing?
I had completely forgotten about you. Yep, I will admit it with a pang in my mellow dramatic, over-the-top theatrical state, that I genuinely neglected my first baby.
I am not going to make promises like the last time, but this time, I am going to set myself a challenge. A challenge to blog every day for the next 30 days. This isn’t something done for you, but something done for me, and me alone. My Batman without Robin type of moment.
My blog month challenge, if you will, will simply comprise of 30, quite often pointless, but daily posts. Yes these posts will include weekends – shock horror!
YEEEEE HAAAAH! Let’s do this!
That is me channeling my inner Riaan so that I can bring you the news of my life for 30, probably boring as hell days. Jissus.
Capetonians are traditioanlly fickle people that often moan about not having anything to do on the weekend. We hate driving more than 15 minutes and are tired of doing the traditional touristy things such as wine tasting and heading to the coast. Ag, what a tough time we have it here.
Fear no more people! Acrobranch have recently opened in Constantia and for some ungodly reason, a mate decided to drag me Ziplining. Why would anyone in their right mind want to dangle from above the tree tops while engaging in movement that causes an increased heart rate and sweat!? Urg. Lazy.
Well, after finally kicking and screaming, I am now one of those mad men that want to do it again. I felt like I was born in the wild and was reborn as Action Man. Ripped.
Check those guns.
IT FLIPPING ROCKS!
It isn’t as hectic as it sounds, and while you do swing from tree to tree using nothing but rope and a little clip to keep your from splattering to the ground in spectacular fashion, it is a shit ton of fun to put it bluntly.
At first, I nearly needed a change of underwear when I saw how high up it was, but as soon as I got going I didn’t even think about the height again, until my cruel friend asked, “aren’t you terrified of heights”. At that moment, not only did I feel like Tarzan ready to rescue Jane, but I felt like a combination of Spiderman and Superman. I was pumped and ready to swing on those ropes like a Monkey man flying towards the most glorious Banana try ever known. Read More
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