Posted by on Jul 16, 2015 in My life | 0 comments

Tinder. Where the bloody hell do we begin with this mess of an app?

I haven’t the foggiest idea, but I have had a shit ton of fun playing on the app this week. In the space of the last week, I have seen a few sides to the app that I didn’t, but should have expected.

There are 3 types of girls on Tinder:

  • The Crazy
  • The Hoe
  • The Prude

Now, we aren’t talking about looks or anything, but simply the first impression that a girl can give off – the initial impression of her personality. Some of them are cringe worthy, some are funny, but the majority of them just leave me dik confused. WHAT THE HELL GIRL!?

The Hoe

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This is plain and simple. The first thought that she gives off is the fact that she wants the D. Any D. Excuse the blunt objectification, but damn girl calm down. Put them things away (but silently thumbs up). Most of these profiles are fakes/jokes that they are doing for a bit of fun, but remember, anything that goes on the internet, more than likely stays on the internet. I feel like there isn’t anything else to add to this, but just cover yo’self up. We know your milkshake brings all the internet boys to the yard, but you are practically shooting your first porno with some of those pics.

The Crazy

IMG_3881

The next topic veers right off track in comparison – just like the mal people who put these pics up. Sure some of these are a joke, but WTF people!? I get there are some, ummmm, “alternative” people out there, but there is only so much crazy that a man can handle, even if he is more cooked than your Christmas duck that you left in the oven because you got too drunk after another domestic argument about how Johnie leaves his shit everywhere.

Bonus: Regret is a dish best swiped right

IMG_3893

Don’t just fucking swipe right like you are Floyd Mayweather throwing hundies at your favourite hoe in the club. That shit just ends up with an inbox full of matches of regret and low standards. Trust me, that is not a winning strategy, but it does provide some amusing matches and creative shit to see who swiped right on you. Just be prepared to deal with the befok consequences.

What are some of the weirdest & craziest shit that you have seen on Tinder & the likes? 

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